merv_the_ant

I remembered the other day that I haven't recently written the traditional holiday list for Hannah(even if it consists of the same thing every holiday)! So here we go:

* Go to the pub.
* Visit Babs at County Town Books.
* Go to the cinema to watch a childish film (I think we may have done that already).
* Go to the pub.
* Visit The Swan With Two Nicks in Souldrop.
* Go to BH's house to try out his shower.
* Go to BH's house to look at the blossom on his tree (I think we're too late, but if not,we MUST get a photo).
* Go to the pub.
* Go on some touristy/holiday day out trip.
* Take the mick out of Oompah for no valid reason whatsoever).

I'm sure I've missed stuff out, so feel free to add! If you ever check LJ anymore...

Jude couldn't see the picture I sent her by text, so here you go Jude! Damn legendary...





And while adding these pictures to Photobucket, I got completely sidetracked, added all the photo's that I hadn't added yet to the site, grouped them all into albums, then realised that I had spent all day doing that. I feel it's a valuable waste of my time.

On yet another exciting night in the life of Steph (I'm not actually being sarcastic here), I went out to the cinema with Jude to see The Happening. We didn't intend to see that film. In fact, we didn't intend to see any particular film, but we just turned up and (after nicking a cineworld magazine from the dumbest employee I may have ever seen and choosing the best film out of a bad lot) ended up seeing that one. Now I'm scared of plants... And so is Jude. We've turned into tree-hugging, speaking to plants, staying inside, paper recycling, nutters. Well, actually, I'm speaking for myself, not Jude. But Jude may also be of a similar state. The actors in that film wre pretty rubbish. And once again, as is nomally the case, the child actor was the worst! But I totally believe that plants can make you commit suicide when they get angry and they can communicate with one another. Totally based on science that film...

For the 'Writer's Block' section on livejournal, they have the question 'Are you celebrating Cinco de Mayo?' What the hell is Cinco de Mayo????!!!! So I thought I'd find out for the people who are as ignorant of it as I am.
It's a Mexican holiday on 5th May to commemorate the victory of Mexico over the French in the Battle of Puebla. And apparently it's not Mexico's independence day (that's on 16th September). So there you are. You've learned something of great interest, courtesy of Wikipedia!
Oh yeah, and last night, I came across the word parricide (the murder of a parent), so I thought I'd look up siblicide (it's the obvious next step, isn't it?!), and it wasn't there! But I wasn't going to give up! I had to look it up in a couple more dictionaries, but I found it!!!!! Siblicide is a word in the English language!!!! I may have to commit siblicide now to bring the word into the public's awareness... I'll insist that the media tell the world that I committed siblicide.
On that happy note, I'll leave you.
No, I won't! Not until I tell you the other great word I found! Soporific! Does that sound cool or what?! It means causing sleep, especially by drugs. Sounds like 'soprano' and 'terrific'. Brilliant! I could commit siblicide using soporific methods...

I forgot about putting a picture up on here for Jude! We went to the pub last week, on Wednesday, and had a meal. I wasn't impressed with mine and Jude ordered risotto, thinking it was a pasta dish, so she was disappointed too. But the funniest thing was, was the 'salad' on the side of Jude's plate:



DANDELION LEAVES!!!!! They're saving money by going out to the garden and taking what they need from there to make the meals look posh! Why can't they do ordinary, decent, nice-tasting meals anymore? And bring back the chocolate fudge cake and ice cream!

Is anybody else really pissed off with the anti-depressant story in the news today? Apparently, studies have shown that only a small number of people with depression benefit from anti-depressant drugs. These studies may be correct, but there are loads of 'Have Your Say' forums with some complete idiots in it!

Okay, my problems with all this:

* I don't believe GP's can accurately diagnose depression or any other mental health problem without any outward signs (e.g. anorexia nervosa has a pretty obvious outward sign). Have they ever even opened a DSM-IV(R)????

* There are other studies that conclude that moderate exercise is equally effective as anti-depressants. If drugs don't work, why not prescribe these people exercise?!

* I'm fairly sure some people believe themselves to be depressed because they are just unhappy. That's not the same thing!

* Then there are those people that don't believe clinical depression (and I mean REAL depression!) even exists, and think that depressed people should stop complaining and get on with it. There are chemical differences in the brains of those with clinical depression and those without!

I think I may have expressed to some degree that I'm ever so slighty annoyed...

Marmaduke had a bath!!!!!! Courtesy of my dad. I hinted enough. For three solid days. It paid off though.

Anyhoo, the meal last night at Dexter's in MK and watching Juno was a good night. Though maybe next time I should book the table for an hour and a half before the film starts, so we don't have to walk past people to get to our seats. I'll remember that if we do it again.

I've been doing so much voluntary slave labour today, it's weird. But my mum did her back in at work on Wednesday night and is having major trouble doing everything, so I'm having to do loads of stuff to make her rest every now and again. My dad is no help at all on that front. On Friday, she did all the housework except the hoovering because she couldn't face lugging a heavy hoover all round the house, and she washed her car, on top of all the usual stuff you do everyday (e.g. laundry and washing-up). She dropped hints that the hoovering needed to be done, but my dad obviously needs several days of hints to get the point. So I've been doing that (it really takes time you know, if you do it thoroughly), washing-up (it's Sunday roast day! I hate that roasting tin!!!!!), tidying...okay this doesn't sound a lot now. I'm sure I must have done something else because otherwise what else would I have done with my time?! Ooooooo! Out of interest, does anyone have a Dyson hoover? I want to know if they're any good. Whether they actually suck up the dirt and whether cleaning the filter is a pain in the arse (like it is in our current hoover)??? My mum and I are on a mission to find a good hoover, but we can't justify the expense of buying a new one each week.

Talking of Dyson, look at this:



It's a Dyson hand-dryer!!!!!! They have them at Addenbrooks hospital. My mum tried it and apparently, it dries your hands in just a couple of seconds. Completely dry! Hand-dryers are normally useless. I want to go to hospital to try it out!

I'm totally ready for work tomorrow. I don't know why I'm looking forward to it, because it's just a load more Year 9 SATS mock tests, but I am. I'm really too optimistic today. It's wrong. Maybe I'm ill...

How can Emmerdale let a little baby die???!!!! It's so wrong and so sad!!!! No Hannah, I haven't cried! I still have a heart of stone. But if it happened to someone I know, I would cry. Does that put me in a better light? I'm not completely heartless!!!
Juno and food on Saturday!!!! Yay!

Hey, I just thought that I'd show you pictures of my newly made kaleidoscope that was a birthday present from Jude (thanks Jude!!!!! It's the coolest build-your-own thing I've ever seen!!!!).
The oh-so-exciting box:

The kaleidoscope from the outside (yes, it does look like I just stuck some toilet roll tubes together, but wait for the next picture!):

What you can see inside the kaleidoscope:

And another pretty picture!!!:


Yeah, bet you're jealous now!!!!! I know Jude is, because she told me that she wants one... You can come round my house anytime Jude and look at it!!!!
Don't ask me why the pictures are so enormous, I couldn't get the livejournal picture import thingy to work in any way, so I did it myself.

Oh, and Jude, entertaining brother news just in! Alex got new number plates for his car a couple of months ago and for some strange reason, he wanted them to say that it was a German car. He's just been stopped and fined by the police because it turns out they're illegal (we asked him about that, but he was convinced they were legal. Idiot)!!!!! Lol.

Why the frig is Jordan in every bloody issue of OK! magazine????!!!! Is it just me that finds her the most annoying person on the planet (closely followed by Peter Andre)??? As if that wasn't bad enough, they were both narrators on Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway (there really wasn't anything worth watching on TV), and yes, you guessed it. They were awful!
Now I've got that rant through, I'll talk about something else.
I got offered a job as a Clinical Support Worker at Bedford hospital at the end of September. I was surprised to just get the interview, but when I got to the interview it just seemed to get worse. There were about 25 people there (but I later found out that there were about 5 jobs going), and every single one of them had a GNVQ in Healthcare (or whatever it is) and experience in a healthcare setting. I found this out before the interview had even started. I wondered why the hell I'd even bothered turning up, as I didn't have a chance.
I managed to pass the first stage though (along with everyone else), which was an unbelievably easy numeracy and literacy test that a five-year-old could pass. Then there was the group interview. I was dreading this. But Hannah had given me advice, and I thought that if I just said something, anything, I might get myself noticed. I was one of the four out of 25 that said anything. So that went okay, though was completely nerve-wracking, because I hate talking to a group of people I don't know. Then I had the one-on-one interview where the first question was, 'What is your experience in healthcare?'. Bloody hell. I have none. Great. But I ended up telling them about Alex's medical condition and how my family is so used to hospitals and that my A-Levels and my degree gave me at least a basic knowledge of medicine (psychology is all about medicine! Don't you dare say that it's not a science!). Something worked. I don't quite know what, I'm still trying to figure that one out. As I was leaving the interview, thinking that I'd blown that one, one of the people there told me that I'd be offered a position. I was so shocked, that the day after I was trying to work out whether I'd omitted a word in the sentence I thought she'd said to me: 'We are going to offer you a position'. But then I received written confirmation in the post on Wednesday, so I'm not hard of hearing.
I don't start for months though. I've got to return a wad of forms that make no sense to me at all, and training (which I have to do before properly working) starts at the beginning of December. Back to the Crown Courts for a while then. Not that I'm complaining. It's not like I have to work hard or anything and I get to look at criminals all day. How many people can say that?

Why do I always seem to feel so tired??? I wish I knew! I know what my nan would say: it's my diet. But then, she only says that because I have a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar for lunch when I'm at work (yes, I know it's unhealthy! But as I explained to my nan, I don't have time to make a sandwich, I have things to do, like job applications and that, which take several hours each night. Her answer is to get up earlier in the morning. I think that just totally contradicts the obvious answer to my tiredness problem). Anyhoo, I didn't actually have nything in particular to talk about. I just thought that I should update.
On the job front, I've applied to four places this week (I think. Not quite sure. Applications are turning into a blur) and I almost got ruined by my lack of knowledge for the postal strike today and I may still have. I applied for an assitant psychologist position with the prison service and the due date was today. I found out about the job on Monday and phoned for an application form, received it on Tuesday and completed it that night, posted it first class on Wednesday and at the post office they told me about the strike. I got offered 48p to post it first class, which I was told should get it there on the Thursday but doesn't guarantee it, or I could pay £4.38 to guarantee it. I thought 'sod it, I'm not paying that much' and risked the 48p. If it doesn't get there, it doesn't get there and I won't be working with sex offenders. I'm sure my mum will be devastated.
Also on the subject of jobs, I will be working pretty much every day this month, which sounds like bad news, but it'll mean I will have a decent amount of dosh!!!!! One step closer to my dream shed (yes, I've worked out that under a thousand pounds won't buy me a house, but it will buy me a shed to live in)!!!
Hannah's text just reminded me of next week; Graduation. I'm looking forward to going there. The hotel my parents have booked us into has a swimming pool, a bar and wi-fi so I can take my laptop and check my hundreds of e-mails that I receive every hour... But the graduation ceremony itself I am not looking forward to. A) I will walk to the wrong place/trip up when I go to receive my fake scroll (we actually receive them in the post in September/October, B) I have to have photo's, and I HATE photo's, C) I know my parents and grandparents will embarrass me somehow, without even trying. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't think there's much else to talk about. Alex got a new job with the Hilton Hotl in MK in accounts, but that's not really exciting. I'll give you the update you all crave next week sometime.

Today is my last exam. Yay!!!! Only, I'm not quite in the yay'ing mood... This exam is majorly hard and even though I've revised (well I started revising from about 1pm yesterday until just now) I just know that I'll look at the questions and wonder what the hell they are referring to. Also, I keep having these dreams that I'll turn up at an exam and when I turn the question paper over, I find out that I've been revising for the complete wrong exam! Other dreams include giving myself food poisoning so that I keep hving to run out of the exam hall to puke (nice) and my parents living in a house where the walls are completely covered in mould so that you can't see the real colour of the walls (I know I do psychology, but there's no way I can analyse that one).
Anyhoo, everyone's exams will be over soon :-D And Hannah, well done for remembering how to spell peroxyacetyl nitrates, even if you can't say it. One day, I'll let you know how to pronounce it...aren't you lucky?
Well, see people at home next week :-D

Just a quick post to say that I think I did okay on my exam this morning. Unfortunately, I didn't get to write about fat people (and I revised obesity too! Jaw wiring just sounds funny), but I did get to blame the media for everyone's body dissatisfaction issues and write all about how food makes you brainy. Woo...
One good thing about that exam though is that it was in the hall where the graduation ceremony takes place, so now I know where it is and that the building isn't so bad on the inside as it looks from the outside. I mean, look at the outside:

Anyhoo, I'll update tomorrow to let you know how badly my neuropsychology exam goes. This one is going to be the hardest...

Okay, I should be revising, but I'm taking a half hour break before I go back to it and I only have three and a half cards left to memorise out of the ten I wrote. So I'm pretty much two thirds of the way through and it's only 4.30pm. Plus, you're not allowed to judge me. Because I say so.
I just thought I'd let you know the great news:
I totally passed my Psychopathology exam this morning! That is the first time I have actually felt that I've passed an exam for sure. It wasn't particularly easy, but I knew all the stuff I could possibly have needed to know to answer two questions. And weirdly enough, I didn't have to rush to finish (my writing normally turns to a scribble when I'm half way through the second essay and I see that there's only five minutes of the exam left)! Seriously, I'm not big-headed, but on that exam, I must have done well. If not, then my paper's been marked wrong or everyone else doing that exam are complete geniuses and thus, the grade boundaries were extremely high. I'm so happy! Only two exams left and I may actually finish my revision for tomorrow's exam without too much of a problem (which means that I can watch my soaps later).

This is just going to sound like the craziest thing ever. For me, anyways. I am so looking forward to this week! Despite the fact that I have three exams in three days (for which two I haven't revised for yet). It's only just hit me that in three days I would have finished uni, I will never have to come back to Swansea ever (if I didn't want to, or if my parents didn't insist that I should attend the ceremony thing, or if I don't fail my exams and have to resit), I will never have to see the annoying people I dislike, I will never have to listen to my housemate's church music again (she was playing it again this morning. It just sounds like a church organ playing a really morbid tune), I will never have to listen to her trying to sing (classical. How much worse can it get?), I will never have to exchange pleasantries with the three housemates I hate, and I hopefully, won't have to embarrass myself again by answering the door to the postman in my pyjamas. How great is that?!
Seriously, the exams have just been obliterated into no obstacle at all. If doing them gives me all that, I can't complain that they are so close.
Plus, it's really hot. Beach weather. And I'm stuck in here revising (except for the 50 minutes I spent out in the garden reading which gave me a tan on my shoulders). The weather better be like this on Friday and Saturday, when I can actually go to the beach. Then Saturday night I'm going out (something I find slightly difficult in Flitwick, considering the place to go out to is Tesco's). I'm uncharacteristically happy! Strange.

Okay, I'm posting again. When I get stressed I post. It's an excuse not to do the thing that gets me stressed.
So, apart from thinking that I've failed yesterday's exam on Forensic Psychology (I learned all about sex offenders for nothing!) and hoping that university exam mark boundaries are based on how well/badly everyone did, today I'm stressed about revising for my next exam which is on Tuesday. I have one and a half days to finish my revision for that. Which seems like quite a lot, but there are 148 powerpoint slides to memorise, which have many names/dates/experiments to remember. I made out six sets of cards to revise from and so far I've done four sets (I did two sets a few days ago, and two sets this morning), so it's not completely impossible to finish today. Only three hours to learn each set is really taking the mick. Though now know everything to know about depression and the basics of schizophrenia (don't worry, your lifetime risk is 1% and men are more likely to suffer from it).
It's not this exam I'm majorly stressed about though. I'm stressed, but not as stressed as I am about Wednesday's and Thursday's exam. I have done zilch revision for those exams, and I have half a day to revise for Wednesday's and a day to revise for Thursday's. I keep hoping for an email to say that Wednesday's exam has been moved to Saturday or something, but it hasn't happened yet. They just sent me two emails and a letter telling me a few days before yesterday's exam that the venue had changed. But even though I'm stressed, I still can't wait until Thursday at 4pm, when I'm free (hopefully. If I don't fail. If I fail I'll only return for a couple of weeks to sit the exams again. I am not properly coming back to Swansea for a long time again)!

So, it's the date of my second exam (Saturday exams should be banned, I'm planning for my religious day of rest) and I don't see the point in revising until about an hour before I have to leave the house. Mainly because I know all the stuff I chose to revise, and also because if the stuff I've revised doesn't happen to be on the exam, it's too late now to learn a whole bunch of new stuff.
Anyhoo, I've learned 2/3rds of the depression stuff I have to learn for Tuesday's exam, but haven't started on the schizophrenia revision for the same exam, let alone revision for the other two exams. I'm in denial that the exams are actually happening, or are important (one of the two).
But despite all this, my brain seems to have decided to make plans for the future that assume that I'll pass these exams. See, I've already decided that my first choice of university for Clinical Psychology is UEA, and the second choice is Hertfordshire (sounds like a weird choice, but they give preference to people who are most likely to stay in the area). Then I'm going to be Dr Stephanie Elford, millionairess. That's not inconceivable is it?
I have a small back-up plan though. If I pass, but only get a 2:2 (I need a 2:1), there's a course I can take in Hertfordshire that will make me able to apply for Clinical Psychology still. But I still have to pass these exams, which I can't see myself doing. My mum's gone back into denial mode, saying 'You'll do fine', but she really has no idea that I won't.
I'm fed up with staying in all day for days on end. I'm going to go mad. That'd be ironic. I study people who go mad, then I go mad myself. Great.

I was so impressed with myself yesterday. I managed to memorise al the revision cards I'd made for Saturday's exam. And my plan today was to memorise at least half of the revision cards for Tuesday's exam (there are a LOT more cards to memorise for that one). But so far I've got through 7 out of 18 of the cards I aimed to finish today. It's too hard!!!!!! Plus, it's on depression, which makes me even more depressed than I am already.
To make things even more confusing, I'm having those dreams where you have completely normal conversations with people you know, then you wake up and wonder whether you've actually had that conversation with that person or not. I'm totally confused over who I've spoken to now and what I've said. Not that I should. I've barely seen anyone for a month.
I just want this all over so I can go home. I don't care if I fail and I end up working in Tesco's for the rest of my life, I'm fed up and I don't want to be stuck inside all day for what feels like months (and probably is because for the past couple of terms I've had countless essays as well as revision). It also really pisses me off that the so-called difficult and 'traditional' subjects have fewer exams and are essay-based. English had a few essays (which I like because I can check it before I hand it in) and one exam. And Law has a few essays again and three exams. None of those subjects are purely exam based, those essays count for a percentage of the degree. Psychology has essays that don't count for anything, but if you don't do them you get thrown off the course as well as five exams upon which your mark depends on (apart from the third of the degree we did last year). Oh yeah, and the research project, which was the only okay part about the course. If I fail just one exam or the research project, I've failed the degree. I can't do exceptionally well on one thing to make up for a poor mark on another paper. It's so unfair. I hate this. I know I'm just moaning, but it's really getting me down now. Even if they just gave us a day in between each of our last three exams I'd be happier, but no, it's three exams one day after the other. I don't know how I'm going to cope. It's making me feel sick right now just thinking about it.
I need a holiday after this. Anywhere. So I can just do nothing but laze around and sleep.

Okay, I'm kinda happy today. And for good reason.
First thing this morning, the funnily named housemates, Marina and Norbert, moved out. FOR GOOD!!!!!!! Woooooooooo!!!!! The only bad part about that is that I was probably the only one who had to say goodbye because I was the only other person up at 8.30am when they were loading the car up (I was just about to leave to go to the uni library. More about that in a minute). If I was not so panicky about the fact that little revision has been done for my last four exams, I may have still been in bed and not had to be nice and say goodbye. It wasn't that bad really I suppose. I'm rid of them forever now.
The only thing that pisses me off is that they've left all the deflating balloons and banners they put up for Marina's birthday party, which I think may have been in April. Just put it this way though; I'm not taking it all down. They also left some leaflets behind on the coffee table that we 'may find interesting'. Yes, because bus timetables, and boring local events are highly interesting....
Secondly, I'm happy at this very moment because I have finished writing the revision notes for all but one of my exams. Okay, I should be happy when it's all done, but my plan was (yes, I actually write plans out on what I need to do and when I need to do it by) to finish these exam notes by 10 o'clock tonight, and I've managed to finish them just before 4pm. Most people would spend that extra time relaxing, but me being me will end up doing the revision notes for the last exam (I may take breaks though). I'm actually starting to feel a bit more positive about the exams. I found out today that once I've remembered a few names and dates, the Eating Behaviour module is actually pretty easy (Did you know that a diet high in protein could cause depression? Amazing.....I'm sad), which is good because I've only scheduled half a day for memorising facts.
Oh yeah, by the way, I bought something I shouldn't have. Gareth took me to an outlet centre that had a Tula shop in it. And of course, they had Radley bags...(you see where this is going). And they were almost half price. So I had to buy one. But it was under £40 though! A bargain!!!!! It will last forever and is clearly an investment, not a waste of money...

So, I actually managed to survive my first exam. Out of the five question choices, I could have attempted three of them. But I only needed to answer two. So it wasn't a complete nightmare. Saying that though, the first question I answered I couldn't write enough! I had so much to write that I had to miss some of it out so that I had time to write the second essay. But for the second essay I had hardly any information to put in it. I totaly worried about that question when I left the exam (I didn't leave early or anything, I left at the very end). But I later found the lecture notes that covered that question and I had put everything in. Even if I did only write two pages. I just need 40% to pass. 40%. I just want to pass...
Anyhoo, I am now writing revision cards for my third exam which is on Tuesday 5th June. I have two more exams after that, on the 6th and 7th, which I haven't done anything for either. So now I'm going to go to the library to search for some books that can explain to me what the hell my lecturers are writing about in their lecture notes. I'm going to have a fun week of revision (again)!!!
Two weeks and a couple of day left (probably) until I come home and don't have to think about studying or exams for a very long time.